March 2012
214 posts
3 tags
Anonymous asked: what's your favorite lesson?
3 tags
Today we were supposed to wear pink to raise awareness about bullying.
Which is ironic, because I got bullied for not wearing pink.
Hah.
hyperbolequeen:
idk what to major in can I become a hooker at least then I won’t die a virgin
I don’t have a carpet in my room, but I make up for that by having a layer of dirty clothes that covers the ground and keeps my feet warm.
2 tags
Today in math class I fell half-asleep.
I dreamed I was eating an apple, and I made the chewing motion and everything.
People gave me really funny looks.
nuditea:
“when one door closes, another one opens”
imagine how annoying it would be if that were true
you close the bathroom door to pee and your front door suddenly blows open
your cat escapes
you run out and jump into the car to chase the cat and hear everything falling out of your over-stuffed pantry as its door unlatches
February 2012
319 posts
6 tags
I will name my firstborn son Jacob Senior just so I can mess with people.
4 tags
mannequinwithkillappeal replied to your post: The one thing that bugs me about evolution is the…
Common ancestor with apes, which is not the same thing as monkeys, and definitely not the same thing as evolving from either.
You and your “scientific accuracy”.
Apes terrify me, though. At least monkeys are tolerable. So I just refer to them as monkeys to avoid having to face...
3 tags
The one thing that bugs me about evolution is the fact that we evolved from monkeys.
I mean, I’d be so much happier if we evolved from tigers or something.
3 tags
In the future, everyone will have their own clone of Adam Levine and life will be perfect.
5 tags
I have pride issues with losing to a crayon... →
mannequinwithkillappeal:
Vote for me on facebook (click link above), and help me spread the word around!
No, seriously, if I’m going to lose, I don’t want to lose to that.
Guys vote for her because she’s cool and because art.
2 tags
Waiting a couple seconds before talking to your friend after they log on so you don’t seem desperate.
i’m actually kind of afraid to meet my online friends
not because of the possibility of them being an online predator,
but because they’re gonna realize how much of a loser i am in real life. and think something like “wow have i really been friends with you this whole entire time”
1 tag
Turns out the more I post, the more notifications I get.
Woah.
punkest:
sometimes i feel like i’m the only straight guy on tumblr and it makes me uncomfortable
is this how it feels to be gay irl
2 tags
Today, I was at fencing, and my coach walked up to me and just gave me a new blade.
No warning or anything.
I didn’t even order one.
This isn’t normal. What’s happening? I’m scared.
6 tags
lonelylaughter replied to your post: you must have a massive dick
Can you guys stop these questions and weird comments to him? Seriously,it’s not cool and it’s really rude and inconsiderate. Imagine how you would feel if someone kept doing that to you. Imagine you were in his shoes. How do you feel. Not so good eh?
You’re saying that like I have feelings.
HAH. (:
1 tag
There is no middle ground when it comes to your opinion on Nickelback.
You either hate them with a passion, or you just don’t like them.
Anonymous asked: I'm sorry you get such mean asks. Some people are too jerkish to comprehend sometimes.
Anonymous asked: you must have a massive dick
whitepoweralejandra:
oh i get it
“the lollipop” is actually his dick
fifty cent actually just wants that girl to lick his dick
not a real lollipop
Anonymous asked: You've become funnier since joining tumblr????? We really hadn't noticed that since most of your stuff is just rebogs of other people and the few times you actually post something original, it is barely humourous. Maybe you've just become more delusional since joining tumblr.
2 tags
Now that I know I have the ability to survive over 24 hours without internet, I never need to attempt this again.
2 tags
Anonymous asked: you look like the kind of guy that masturbates a lot. how often do you??
ierogasm:
you know whats crazy seeing a post on your dash and reading the comments and seeing the last comment and LAUGHING and then you read the url of the person who said it and it turns out it was you
that literally just happened to me and i dont even remember saying what i did, see even when i dont know its me making the joke i think im funny
that was a crazy experience i needed to...
1 tag
ierogasm:
there are attractive people
and then there are people that make you literally start to foam at the mouth with desire
Anonymous asked: this is a legit question, are you, homosexual? i dont mean to offend..
3 tags
Up at 11:45, looking at prom dresses with two girls.
What am I even doing with my life?
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Hey.
textposter:
ive gotten significantly more depressed since joining tumblr but also significantly funnier
Watchkyleehenke:
no other cartoon show will ever be as quality as spongebob ever
1 tag
Anonymous asked: What does your dream wedding dress look like? Your wedding is just a few months away after all!
8 tags
Anonymous asked: ...where were you last night
2 tags
I’ll sign a bunch of things, and I’ll sell them to you guys for five bucks each.
Then in the future, when I’m famous, you can sell them for millions of dollars.
This is a good investment guys, trust me.
There’s a party in my pants but none of you are invited because I hate you all.
2 tags
I think I’ve liked more pictures of half-naked men than women.
Adam Levine is too attractive for his own good.
2 tags
skylinesilhouettes:
I made it off just in time, Jacob. YOU ALMOST GOT ME, BUT YOU DIDN’T. HA.
Trust me, I could’ve stalled for another 30 seconds.
I AM NOT GOOD AT MANY THINGS, BUT I STALLING IS WHERE MY SKILLS LIE.